The Queen’s Beautyrest
We just heard about a crazy story out of London. Turns out the announcement for the Royal birth could be delayed by the Queen’s sleep schedule.
Apparently, the Queen needs to be told the child’s name and sex before the world. Now, if the baby comes at night, who will wake the Queen? Turns out no one will.
If the heir to the throne arrives during the wee hours of the night, the official announcement will be delayed until morning.
So, if the Queen has a restless sleep and gets up early for the royal morning constitutional, she could be brought up to speed on all the baby details before the sun rises. In this scenario, Brits could learn of the baby news before they were finished breakfast.
But, what if she has an amazing sleep, one brought on by the cushiony softness of over 180 individual pocket coils. In this case, she could wake up hours later, delaying the announcement even further. The news could break during the morning rush hour commute. Imagine 50 million Brits listening intently to their radios, constantly refreshing their news source and feverishly scanning twitter for accurate information. Imagine the bedlam on the M1, the congestion at the tube turnstiles and the chaos at Heathrow when the news came.
A comfortable mattress could lead the Empire to a potentially disastrous scenario.
Lets hope the Queen hasn’t replaced her mattress Vancouver in a few years.